Horse Promises for the New Year

1. I will NOT roll in streams when my human is on my back.
2. I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
3. I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
4. I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just to say "Hi."
5. I will NOT confuse my human's hair for really soft hay.
6. I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
7. I will NOT try to mooch goodies from every human within a One-mile radius.
8. I will NOT lay totally flat in my stall with my eyes glazed and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming, "Are you asleep?"
9. I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
10. I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while my human is mucking my stall.
11. I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
12. I will NOT pull my shoes off the day after being shod, just to prove that I can.
13. I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or orally remodel the barn or the new fences.
14. I am NOT a battle steed and will NOT act like one.
15. I will forgive my human for my very bad haircut, even though I look ridiculous.
16. I will accept that not every carrot (sugar lump or cookie) is for me.
17. I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during a trail ride just to say "Hi."
18. I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a deer.
19. I will understand that deer are NOT carnivorous.
20. I will gladly come from the pasture when my human wants my company.