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First Posted: Sept 12, 2010
Apr 14, 2011

Dog Quotations

Compiled by Debora Johnson

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
by Edward Abbey

When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?
Anonymous

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk.
by O.A. Battista Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
by Dave Barry

The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic.
by Henry Ward Beecher

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
by Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
by Robert Benchley

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
by Ambrose Bierce

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
by Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
by Josh Billings

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
by Steve Bluestone

When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
by Erma Bombeck

Here, Gentlemen, a dog teaches us a lesson in humanity.
by Napoleon Bonaparte

The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too.
by Samuel Butler

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend, "The first to welcome, foremost to defend." by Lord Byron

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
by Roger Caras

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
by Roger Caras

I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.
by Jimi Celeste

If dogs could talk, perhaps we'd find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people.
by Karel Capek

Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
by Colette

The dog is a yes animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes man.
by Robertson Davies

They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell.
by Emily Dickenson

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
by Max Eastman

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.
by Dwight D. Eisenhower

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.
by George Eliot

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying.
by George Bird Evans

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
by Corey Ford

There are three faithful friends --an old wife, an old dog and ready money.
by Ben Franklin.

He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
by Ben Franklin

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies.
by Gene Hill

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
by Edward Hoagland

A dog is not "almost human" and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such.
by John Holmes

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
by Aldous Huxley

Man is a dog's ideal of what God should be.
by Holbrook Jackson

They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
by Jerome K. Jerome

With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog.
by Edward Jesse

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
by Franklin P. Jones

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
by Franklin P. Jones

A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved.
by Aaron Katche

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
by Margo Kaufman

Dogs are miracles with paws.
Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

His name is not wild dog anymore, but the first friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.
by Rudyard Kipling

Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace.
by Milan Kundera

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail.
by Fran Lebowitz

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog.
by Konrad Lorenz

In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man.
by Maurice Maeterlinck

No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses.
by Herman Melville

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
by Christopher Morley

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
by Penny Ward Moser

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
by Sue Murphy

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
by Ogden Nash

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
by Phil Pastoret

Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart.
by Dorothy Hinshaw Patent

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother-and they'll settle for a puppy every time.
by Winston Pendelton

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
by Gilda Radner

They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
by Larry Reeb

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.
by Mabel Louise Robinson

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
by Will Rogers

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
by Will Rogers

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
by Andy Rooney

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
by Andy Rooney

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
by Rita Rudner

Happiness is a warm puppy.
by Charles M. Schulz

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs.
by Martha Scott

I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for everyday.
by George Bernard Shaw

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.
by Mordecai Siegal

Not Carnegie, Vanderbilt and Astor together could have raised money enough to buy a quarter share in my little dog.
by Ernest Thompson Seton

My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings.
by Gerold Solomon

The more I see of men the more I like dogs.
by Madame de Stael

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
by John Steinbeck

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
by Robert Louis Stevenson

Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger.
by Albert Payson Terhune

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.
by Alphonse Toussenel

Children and dogs are as necessary to the welfare of the country as Wall Street and the railroads.
by Harry S. Truman

Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.
by Agnes Sligh Turnbull

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
by Mark Twain

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's.
by Mark Twain

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
by Joe Weinstein

My little dog--a heartbeat at my feet.
by Edith Wharton

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
by Ben Williams

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
by Woodrow Wilson

Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience.
by Jon Winokur

Why is it that my heart is so touched whenever I meet a dog lost in our noisy streets? Why do I feel such anguished pity when I see one of these creatures coming and going, sniffing everyone, frightened, despairing of even finding its master?
by Emil Zola

Children are for people who can't have dogs.
Author Unknown

A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.
Author Unknown

The dog is the only animal that has seen his god.
Author Unknown

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why.
Author Unknown

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
Author Unknown

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.
Author Unknown

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Author Unknown

A man may smile and bid you hail
Yet wish you to the devil;
But when a good dog wags his tail,
You know he's on the level.
Author Unknown

If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat.
Author Unknown

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
Author Unknown

Some Proverbs

The greatest love is a mother's; then a dog's; then a sweetheart's.
A Polish Proverb

The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread.
by Portuguese Proverb

If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky.
An Old Proverb


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